Monk: If you can hurt me with 3 moves, you win. If you can't hurt me with 3 moves I win.
Wertigon: Hahaha this is too easy. HIYA!!!
Narrator: Wetigon used his first move. Wertigon used 3 punches on the monk's stomach, and then he jumps up and gives the monk a double kick in the chest. He backflips and lands on the floor follow by a flying roundhouse kick to his head(Wert if you're reading this, don't try this at home!). The Monk didn't even move.
Monk: Haha that's one. You have 2 more moves left. You can even use your weapon to attack me if you want.
Wertigon: Ok, you asked for it baldy.
Narrator: Wertigon picked his Bo and spins it like a windmill. Oh man even I'm getting dizzy watching him spinning that... Wertigon thrusted his bo right at the monk's stomach, and takes a whack at his head. The monk stood there as if he didn't feel a thing.
Monk: Hahaha that'll teach you to buy your weapons at Toys R Us!
Wertigon: Bu-but they won't sell me real weapons at Toys R Us...
Monk: Ha you have only one more move left.
Wertigon: Oh right then it's time to use my best move!
Narrator: Wertigon charged right at the monk. Just when he got near him, Wertigon rolled under the monk a sent a triple kick at the monk's *POW* *POW* *POW* groin.
Monk: uuuuugggghhhh oooooo gaaaaaaahhhhh *boom*
Narrator: The monk falls to the floor in defeat.
Wertigon: Hahaha I won!
Narrator: Wertigon heads to the local bar to meet with his friends to drink.
Dude #1: Hey have to heard? The high llama of the Soul Blazer tournament has died last night.
Dude #2: Hey I heard he had an accident.
Wertigon: I don't know it sounded more like a murder to me?
Dude #1: Why do you say that!?
Wertigon: He accidentally flushed himself down the toilet!? I think someone pushed him in there. I mean how can anyone accidentally flush himself down the toilet.
Dude #2: Ah your brains are sharp my friend.
Dude #1: Hey they are holding the Soul Blazer Combat tournament again. Why don't you go to fight?
Wertigon: Me... you think I can do it!?
Dude #1: Of course you can. If beat you can beat Bruise Easily(say that name fast and what do you get?). I heard he's was in town to challenge anyone. If you beat him you can surely win the Soul Blazer Combat.
Wertigon: Alright! I'll do it.
Narrator: Later that day Wertigon challenges Bruise Easily. They meet at an opened field to fight.
Bruise Easily: I accept your challenge. Now let us perpare to fight!
Narrator: Bruise Easily took out his chucks. He whips them back and forth while making those high pitched screams. I'm sure most of you know what it sounds like.
Bruise Easily: *whips nuncuhakus back and forth* Waaaaa Ohhhhhh *WHACK* ..... oooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu ugggghhhhh *falls on the floor*
Wertigon: Ohhh that's gotta hurt.
Narrator: And so Wertigon effortlessly defeated Bruise Easily and enters the Soul Blazer Combat.

Announcer: I know proudly present this year's Soul Blazing Combatants. I'm just going to list them and their fighting style and special move or weapon.

THE SOUL BLAZERS

Name	Fighting Style	Special Move Or Weapon S = Special W = Weapon
Orginal Soul Blazer	Soul Blazing	Just lots of swords W
Will	Wet Willy	Flute W
Ark	Heroic	Hero Spear W
Shadow	Melt	Arms W
Freedan	Dark Knight	Freelunch S
Light Gaia	God	Bazooka W
Dark Gaia	God	Whatever he like S
Elle	Weave	Vortex Thingy S
Royd	Flirt	Flirting With Girls S
Meilin	Cry	Typhoon Tears S
Perle	Skateboarding	Skateboard W
Zombie	Rot	Throw Head S
Bloody Mary	Scary	Way Too Freaking Many!
Dark Twins	Dump	You Don't Wanna Know
Keinz	Boring Crap	Economic Growth S
Yomi	Smart Mouth	Hide Inside The Box S

Messageboard Gang

Name	Fighting Style	Special Move Or Weapon S = Special W = Weapon
Cherubae(last year's Champ)	KungFoGu	Golden Colored Undies W
Dais	Fanfic	Leaving S
Conspiracy	Game Music	MP4 S
Wertigon	Boredom	Swedish Meat Ball S
Terranigma Freak	Fire Emblem/Rot3K	Summon Army S
Kaede	Translate	Groin Smasher no Ken W
Cyrus	*NT*	Text S
Tonnica Sister No.1	Drink Soup	Just ask her about soup S
Beam Cauldron	Vampire	Potato W
El Bobo	Stupid	Hidden Powers S
Cojiro	Big Chicken	Feather Duster W
Jhiend	Anime	Appear and Disappear S
Zedpower	Weapon Pics	Weapon Pics W

Soul Blazer Wannabe

Name	Fighting Style	Special Move Or Weapon S = Special W = Weapon
Mario	Jump	Butt Stomp S
Zero	Robot Jedi	Light Saber W
Kirby	Eat	Eat S
Sigurd	Play Dead	Tyrfing W
Random Monkey	Money Business	Money Ass W
Link	Depends on his age	Whirling Blade S
Luke Skywalker's stunt double... I could afford the real one ok!	Jedi	Light Saber W

Announcer: And now we welcome last year's champ of the Soul Blazer Combat Cherubae! Weighting at... who knows what(if I give the wrong number I'll get crap beaten out of me), she easily defeated every combatant. Let's play the video to she her awesome victory again. *video starts playing* Wow just look at that folks. What grace, what power, what speed, just look at how that coin spins! Yes heads Cherubae wins by a coin toss!
Cherubae: Ah cut the crap and start the show!
Announcer: Yes well... ahem... If you've read the last Soul Blazer then you know how it's played. If not, TOO BAD! Go read the first Soul Blazer! There are some differences of course. First of all everybody get's to say some cheesy one-liner. This year the battles will be more violent, and more detailed. LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!

ROUND 1 FIGHT!

Yomi Vs. Shadow
Yomi: Wahahaha! Of all the fools here I get to fight someone with brains made of water!
Shadow: Oh yeah, well at least I have arms and legs!
Narrator: The battle starts. Yomi quickly jumps into his box. Wow Shadow melts into a puddle of... nevermind. Oh no Shadow has evaporated!
Winner: Yomi

Beam Cauldron Vs. Royd
Beam Cauldron: Feel the power of potato!
Royd: Hey you want your hair to look as cool as me? I got stuff here that'll make you hairyer than those guys from Planet Of The Apes.
Narrator: Ewwwww Beam Cauldron gave Royd the mash potato wedgie... you don't wanna know.
Winner: Beam Cauldron

Zero Vs. Luke Skywalker's stunt double
Luke Skywalker's stunt double: Zero, I am your father.
Zero: Nooooo Ahhhhh my hand... ahhhhh ahhhhhh...
Mega Man X: Err Zero... your hands are suppose to be able to retract inside your armcanon.
Zero: Oh right.
Narrator: Luke Skywalker's stunt double blocks the laser bolt. Zero blocks the laser bolt back. Only problem is they're reflecting imaginary lasers. They tried themselfs out reflecting imaginary lasers. Zero had some sub-tanks.
Winner: Zero... hey that's not the real Luke Skywalker.

Yomi Vs. Tonnica Sister No.1
Yomi: Hehehe you'll look like me in the future!
Tonnica Sister No.1: You must be another evil trickster... bat thing!
Narrator: Yomi tries to jump inside his box to hide, but Tonnica Sister No.1 grabbed Yomi and stuffed him in the toilet instead.
*FFFFFLLLLLLLLUUUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHHHH*
Yomi: Waaaaablub blub blub blub!
Winner: Tonnica Sister No. 1

Link Vs. Freedan
Freedan: Nice ears kid.
Navi: HHHEEEEEY-*WHACK*!
Link: Shut up!
Narrator: Without Navi, Link couldn't hit whale if it was 2 inches away from him.
Winner: Freedan

El Bobo Vs. Dark Twins
Dark Twins: *ffffffaaaaaarrrrrttttttt*
El Bobo: Oh shit!
Narrator: Ewwwwwwww...
Winner: Dark Twins

Kaede Vs. Keinz
Keinz: You can't escape me. I'm everywhere.
Kaede: A vote for me is... a vote for me!
Narrator: *smacks into a wall* Hmm maybe wearing the samurai mask wasn't such a good idea, right Kaede?
Kaede: Ouch! You're telling me...
Winner: Kaede(even with the mask on).

Zombie Vs Random Monkeya
Zombie: ..... *falls apart*
Random Monkey: *scratches ass* OOO ooo eeekk ahh!
Narrator: Random Monkey shows the zombie his purple butt, but the zombie's half-eaten rotting ass was uglier.
Winner: Zombie

Wertigon Vs. Beam Cauldron
Wertigon: Hey BC check out these cool nuncuhakus.
Beam Cauldron: Hey cool! Oh watch me do that Bruise Easily thing with those nuncuhakus. *whips nuncuhakus around* OOOOHHHH Yaaaaaaa *smaaaaasssssh* O.....oooo.... *falls on the floor*
Narrator: Wertigon learned from his advantures.
Winner: Wertigon

Zedpower Vs. Will
Zedpower: Hey Will what happens when you spin your flute really fast facing that mountain?
Will: Oh watch... The mountain will fly at me really *SMASSSSH!*
Zedpower: Fast?
Narrator: Yes the mountain certainly moves fast.
Winner: Zedpower

Zombie Vs. Freedan
Zombie: *stands there and rots*
Freedan: Hey wow you know I never actually talked in Illusion of Gaia. This is really cool. Just listen too me sing. I love you you love...
Narrator: Cover your ears it's not pretty. Thank goodness the zombie shut him up.
Winner: Zombie

Ark Vs. Zedpower
Ark: Look what I got Zed.
Zedpower: No... it can't be.... NOOOOOOOO
Narrator: Can you guess what weapon Ark has?
Winner: Ark

Ark Vs. Meilin
Ark: Sit back everybody cause you'll really enjoy this!
Meilin: Nooo this is written by a Meilin hater. It's not fair. I want to quit... WAIIIIIIILLLLLLLLL!!!
Narrator: Ark slow cuts Meilin. He cuts off a piece of Meilin's skin and let Leim eats it. Slowly piece by piece Meilin was cut up and fed to Leim. Don't worry about Leim. Lions eats lots of sick animals anyway.
Winner: Ark

Light Gaia Vs. Dark Gaia(yeah baby!)
Dark Gaia: Hahahaha! I'm the last boss do you think you can actually kill me? Ark's the only one that can kill me!
Light Gaia: Yeah and I'm the only one that can kill Ark. Ha he dies in the ending.
Narrator: Light Gaia shouldn't have said that. Every angry Terranigma fan rushes on to the arena to kill Light Gaia.
Winner: Dark Gaia

Cherubae Vs. Terranigma Freak(uh-oh)
Cherubae: Come here and I'll carve the HTML tags on your ass so you won't forget them.
Terranigma Freak: Oh, I just can't hit a woma *POOOOOW!*
Narrator: Terranigma Freak's a real gentlemen...
Winner: Terranigma Freak(I am so dead if Cher actually reads this, luck for me, she doesn't read fanfics.)

Mario Vs. Dark Gaia
Mario: *high pitched Mario voice* It'sa mia Mario... Ok that's it, I'm gonna beat the shit out of the next guy that makes me say that!
Dark Gaia: It'sa him a Mariooohhhh SHIT!
Narrator: *SMASSH* *POW* *WHACK* *FLLLUSSSH* Wow what a fight! Mario is beating the snort out of Dark Gaia... but wait Dark Gaia's managed to counter attack... Ohhh now looks like Mario's in deep shit now! Oh what's this bottle of white liquid Mario's drinking.... Mario grows to SUPER BIGGGG... *squish*
Winner: Mario... got milk?

Jhiend Vs. Terranigma Freak(grudge match... sorta)
Terranigma Freak: Hmmm maybe I should try the same trick Wert used... Hey Jhiend check out these cool nuncuhakus I have.
Jhiend: Cool. Let me see.
Narrator: Err Terranigma Freak... Jhiend's not a...
Terranigma Freak: *SMAH* OUCH! *CRUSH* OH! *BAM* AAYYYIIIEEEE! *SMACK*
Narrator: ... guy.
Winner: Jhiend

Jhiend Vs. Ark
Ark: I'm a hero! I can't pick on the ladies!
Jhiend: Ah you're a real hero!
Ark: Yeah and here's a present for you.
Jhiend: WOW a present for me!? It's... *BBBBBOOOOOOOOMMMMM*
Narrator: A boobie trap.
Winner: Ark

Cojiro Vs Original Soul Blazer
Original Soul Blazer: Please somebody give me a name! Why does the others all have names but me?
Cojiro: Ha this guy doesn't even have a name!
Narrator: He does have a name but he has a big sword.
Winner: Original Soul Blazer

Ark Vs. Original Soul Blazer
Original Soul Blazer: I'm the first so I'm gonna win!
Ark: Ark beats up weird guy... the story of my life.
Narrator: Oh well Soul Blazer never had much of a story anyway.
Winner: Ark

End Of Round 1
Winner: Ark!

Ronud 2 FIGHT!

Lady Fyda Vs. Bloody Mary
Lady Fyda: I will save princess Elle. Perpare to die bloody monster!
Bloody Mary: I don't even have princess Elle with me.
Lady Fyda: Tough!
Narrator: loody Mary opened up a can of whup ass on Lady Fyda. Lady Fyda dodges and does a Boston Crab on Bloody Mary. Wow Bloody Mary's face falls off her head! She sends the flying jewels at Lady Fyda. Lady Fyda took them and made a nice necklace... this is getting too weird.
Winner: Lady Fyda

Ark Vs. Dark Gaia
Dark Gaia: *morphs into elder* Ark you enormous fool!
Ark: Remember kids, respect your elders. *POW!* *POW!* *POW!*
Narrator: That was just Dark Gaia pretending to be some old guy anyway.
Winner: Ark

Kirby Vs. Terranigma Freak
Terranigma Freak: Ohhh it's KIRBY!!! I love Kirby!!! He's pink and squishy and Muuuff hhhhhhuuummm!!!!
Kirby: BUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPP!
Narrator: I hope Kirby washes his mouth after this meal.
Winner: Kirby... and Dais thought his lost to Random Monkey was embarrassing...

Random Monkey Vs. Beam Cauldron
Random Monkey: *picks fleas from butt* OOO ooo eeeek ek!
Beam Cauldron: I don't see why this monkey's so powerfu- OOOO ooooo EEEEKK EEEK EK!
Narrator: ....
Winner: Random Monkey

Zedpower Vs. Random Monkey
Zedpower: Haha I have just invented the Random Monkey Whacker!
Random Monkey: Oooo ooo Eiii eiii EKKK *POW* *POW* *POW*
Narrator: Err you better change the name to Zedpower Whacker.
Winner: Random Monkey

Elle Vs. Royd
Elle: Oh what a man! He's just so cute!
Royd: Hehe how's about a date?
Elle: I love to!
Tonnica Sister No.1: Hey you bitch! Get away from my man!
Narrator: Cover your eyes kids. This fight's not pretty.
Winner: Tonnica Sister No.1 ...Hey wait a minute wasn't it suppose to be a Elle Vs. Royd fight?

Dais Vs. Perle(you better read this Dais!)
Perle: Ohhh great it's my turn... *puts on blindfold*
Dais: Wahaha DIE! DIE! DIEEEEE!!!!
Narrator: The following is not for the faint of heart! Perle's eyes flys throught the air, and Perle's not with them. Next the loud sound of cracking bones echoed through arena. Finally Dais tied Perle's arms and legs to 4 trunks going at different directions. Lot of loud screaming could be heard from miles away.
Winner: Dais(DUH!)

Jhiend Vs. Kirby
Jhiend: Oh he's so round and squishy!! Kirby's just so cut-mmmmuuuu!!! Muuuuurrrrrffff!!!
Kirby: Buuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp!
Narrator: That was victim number 2.
Winner: Kirby

Wertigon Vs. Sigurd
Sigurd: Hmm I wonder when's Terranigma Freak going to return my pants.
Wertigon: NOT FAIR!!! He has a Holy Weapon!!! And he horse too! I can't b-*sees Light Gaia get's beaten up by some idiot* Ok fine so what if he has a weapon from god. I can take him.
Wertigon shirt, pants, and face was covered with horse shoe patterns.
Winner: Sigurd

Sigurd Vs. Luke Skywalker's stunt double
Sigurd: *plays dead*
Luke Skywalker's stunt double: Uh-oh I think there something wrong with him. Somebody should call a doc-
Narrator: Last thing Luke Skywalker's stunt double saw was a sliver light flashed right before his eyes. Ack you people should watch more anime.
Winner: Sigurd

Cherubae Vs. Zombie
Zombie: *rots some more*
Cherubae: Die you Resident Evil reject!!!
Narrator: The machine gun bullets rips through rotting flesh like it was made of paper.
Winner: Cherubae

Tonnica Sister No.1 Vs. Ark
Ark: Sorry but I can't go easy on you.
Tonnica Sister No.1: Ok but first let me finish my Miso Soup.
Narrator: When Tonnica Sister No.1 finished her soup, she lights a match. *FAAAAARRRRBOOOOOOOMMMM*
Winner: Tonnica Sister No.1

(Just ask her what's the main ingredient in Miso soup and you'll know about it's awesome power)

Cyrus Vs. Conspiracy
Cyrus: Conspiracy you better give those freaking MP3s!
Conspiracy: Wahhh!!! Freaking Angelfire won't give me more webspace to upload them!!!
Narrator: Conspiracy took out a pic of and anime charater, and Cyrus gone mad cause he couldn't tell if that's a guy or a girl.
Winner: Conspiracy

Sigurd Vs. Link
Link: *plays Ocarina and here comes Epona*
Sigurd: He still wears that stupid hat!
Narrator: Link got distracted by Navi. Link tries to slap Navi. Sigurd shoves sword down Link's throat.
Winner: Sigurd

Lady Fyda Vs. Cherubae
Cherubae: Hey, join the Federation Of Golden Un...
Lady Fyda: Hey hey, there could be kids reading this stuff!
Narrator: *BONG* Oh well I guess those undies are harder than Lady Fyda's head.
Winner: Cherubae

El Bobo Vs. Mario
El Bobo: I hate Mario!
Mario: *high pitched Mario voice* Ah to hell with you. *takes out milk and drinks it* ... OH @#$%!!!
Narrator: Mario holds his stomach and ran straight for the bathroom...
Mario: *high pitched Mario voice* Ooh Mama mia!!! *FARRRRT!*
Narrator: ... Got expired milk?
Winner: El Bobo

Sigurd Vs. Keinz
Keinz: In order to for Grandbell to grow you must make a better economy.
Sigurd: Err... is it something like chopping someone in half?
Narrator: This fight was very unfair, but hey, who cares.
Winner: Sigurd

Kirby Vs. Sigurd
Sigurd: I can't believe they want me to fight this.... this marshmallo- mmmmmuuufff!!! Muuufff!!! MMMMMUUUUUUUMMMMMM!!!
Kirby: BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!
Narrator: I wonder what a Holy Warrior tastes like?
Winner: Kirby

Kirby Vs. Original Soul Blazer
Kirby: *vacuum noises*
Original Soul Blazer: Mind if I join you guys in here?
Sigurd: Not at at. Most the other's been digested already so it's kind of lonely in here.
Narrator: Not a pretty sight.
Winner: Kirby

Freedan Vs. Zero
Freedan: Hey are you a guy?
Zero: Look at you, you long haired freak!
Narrator: Both of them stood still and started glowing. Double blast and Light Saber combo gets'em everytime.
Winner: Zero

End Of Round 2
Winner: Kirby

Round 3 FIGHT!

Shadow Vs. Keinz
Shadow: *melts into a puddle*
Keinz: Hmm what's this puddle doing here? Oh well better clean it up.
Narrator: Keinz literally mopped the floor with Shadow.
Winner: Keinz

Random Monkey Vs. Dark Gaia
Dark Gaia: Come monkey boy! You won't make a monkey out of me!
Random Monkey: *picks fleas from fur and flicks it on Dark Gaia*
Dark Gaia: *scratches* OHHH OHH EEKK EEKK!
Narrator: So that's why monkey always jump around scratching and yelling OOKK OOKK EKK.
Winner: Random Monkey

Wertigon Vs. Yomi
Wertigon: Hmm looks like I won't be able hit his groin...
Yomi: Soon Wertigon you'll be just like me!
Narrator: Wertigon got mad and charged at Yomi. Yomi quickly jumped back into the back. Wertigon shoves a nuke into the box. End of *BBBBBOOOOOOMMMMM* story.
Winner: Wertigon

Cherubae Vs. Conspiracy
Conspiracy: Yo-you d-d-don't scare m-m-e-e... Hey pretty good acting huh? *someone hands him an Oscar*
Cherubae: Very funny Conspiracy. Now let's see how good you are at screaming.
Narrator: Cherubae threw tons of Pikachus covered with glue at Conspiracy, and the glue quickly dries up.
Winner: Che-
Conspiracy: WAAAAHHH WAHHHH WAAAAA GET THEM OFF ME GET THEM OFF ME!!!
rubae...

Cojiro Vs. Zombie
Cojiro: This rotting pile of crap could use some dusting. Feather duster!!
Zombie: *juggles head*
Narrator: Oh well the Zombie's tried after so many battles so he just automaticlly fell apart.
Winner: Cojiro

Meilin Vs. Perle(2 for the price of one!)
Meilin: WAIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
Perle: Ohhhh this is gonna hurt....
Narrator: All of Meilin and Perle's *ahem* fans charged at them. Meilin was slowly roasted to death, while Perle was slowly disolved in acid. While this was happening everyone was singing the song written by El Bobo.
Here's his song if you want to sing along.

Speaking chant:
Bum bum bum bum
Who do you hate
(That whiny brat)
Who do you hate
(The kid that skates)
Who shall it be that dies today?
(Meilin and Perel)
Who will it be I'd like to know

Chorus
Rusty blade
Steely wire
Blood shall pour
Upon the fire
Hang their heads
Upon the pike
For two kids are gonna die toni-ight!

Poor ol' Ark is tryin'
But Meilin just won't stop cryin'
What is he gonna do?
O what is he going to do-o?

Meilin's corpse now swings free
Dangling high up in a tree
Perel, he can't skate no more
Now that his head rolls on the floor
They wouldn't shut up
Don't that beat all?
Cause tonight we're gonna have a ball!

Chorus
Rusty blade
Steely wire
Blood shall pour
Upon the fire
Hang their heads
Upon the pike
For two kids are gonna die toni-ight!

So get out your robes
And get out your knives
We've gotta make up for wasted lives!
Burn down their homes and drag 'em out
Pull 'em by the hair
Make them scream and shout
If they try running
You know what to do
Cause we've gotten permission from MeiHou!

Chorus
Rusty blade
Steely wire
Blood shall pour
Upon the fire
Hang their heads
Upon the pike
For two kids are gonna die toni-ight!

Perel likes to skateboard
He comes from Kindergart
He always wants the spotlight
Trying to steal from Ark!
So we took a propellor
From Will's shed
He didn't mind
With an axe in his head
Gonna build us
A mighty big fan
And chop 'em up
As much as we can
So many possibilities
To kill these two
Oh what are we supposed to do?

Rusty blade
Steely wire
Blood shall pour
Upon the fire
Hang their heads
Upon the pike
For two kids are gonna die toni-ight!
Winner: Perle and Meilin Haters

Bloody Mary Vs. Dais
Bloody Mary: I am unstoppable!!!
Dais: *yawn*
Narrator: Come on Dais' beaten Bloody Mary on level 10!
Winner: Dais

Ark Vs. Cojiro
Ark: Hey Cojiro, would you like some KFC?
Cojiro: Oh yeah I love Kentuckey Fried C- *FFFFFWWWWWOOOOSSSHHHH*
Narrator: Kentucky Fried Cojiro
Winner: Ark

(Now comes with the secert spicy zinger sauce.)

Light Gaia Vs. Dark Twins
Light Gaia: I am all powerful, baby!
Dark Twins: *circles over Light Gaia's head*
Narrator: BOMBS AWAY!!! Man Light Gaia's gonna have one hell of a cleaning bill.
Winner: Dark Twins

Freedan Vs. Will... weird.
Freedan: *sigh* The guy who writes this story isn't even a fan of Freedan. There's noway I can win. *tosses sword away*
Will: I have to beat up my- *sword stabs into Will*
Narrator: That was a lucky shot!
Winner: Freedan

Cyrus Vs. Dark Twins
Cyrus: Luckily I came perpared!
Dark Twins: *circles over Cyrus' head*
Narrator: Just when the Dark Twins were going to let him have it, Cyrus pulls out some corks and plugs up the Dark Twins. Dark Twins suffers constipation.
Winner: Cyrus

Sigurd Vs. Elle
Elle: Oh another good looking guy!
Diadora: You 2 timer! So that's what you're doing!
Sigurd: N-no wait it's not what you think! I... I can explain!
Diadora: How do you explain why you not wearing pants!
Sigurd: I lend them to someone to use as the mascot of his Fire Emblem site!
Diadora: What kind of moron do you take me for!? Humph!
Sigurd: Wa-wait Diadora, honey come back I can explain!
Narrator: You just can't win in a situation like this, and Sigurd was telling the truth too. But you won't catch me telling people that I lend my pants to someone to use as a mascot. Looks like poor Sigurd will be sleeping in the horse stable tonight.
Winner: Elle

Cyrus Vs. Kaede
Cyrus: *groan* Why's the TOP translation... oh hey Kaede! Why don't you translate TOP for me!?
Kaede: No... no... AAHHHHHH!!! *runs*
Cyrus: Come back you're the only one that speaks japanese here. TOP isn't that long of a game. You'll finish it in just 10 years.
Narrator: He can speak japanese!? *also runs after Kaede* Oh please translate DQ6 for me! It only has over 5000 pages of text! It's not much.
Winner: Cyrus... sorta

Keinz Vs. Young Link
Young Link: Hey mister, wanna by a Link mask? It'll help stimulate the growth of Hyrule's economy!
Keinz: Awwww that Link mask so cute. Ok I'll buy one.
Narrator: Young Link whacks chickens and quickly puts on a Zora mask. Chickens think Keinz's Link.
Winner: Link... Young Link actually.

Terranigma Freak Vs. Dais...
Dais: I'll show you how to write fanfics!
Terranigma Freak: Oh yeah! I'll show you the power of Sun Tzu's "Art Of War."
Narrator: Awesome!!! They just accessed the hidden arena! They'll now fight on Beruga's Airshi-*loud screams were heard then came the sound of fleah being diced to tiny pieces* p.
Winner: Airship Propellers

Cherubae Vs. Cyrus
Cherubae: *puts on metallic turtle shell* Ok now this should protect me from any attack. *puts golden undies on head* This will hel-*undies falls over her eyes* Hey who turned out the lights!? *struggles to pull undies from head, but falls on the floor*
Cyrus: HAHAHAHAHA! *boom*
Narrator: Cyrus laughs too hard and fell out of the ring.
Winner: Cherubae
Cherubae: Help I'm a turtle and I can't get up!

Mario Vs. Elle
Elle: Oh man! I get mustache as my opponent!
Narrator: Hey where's Mario?
Mario: *high pitched Mario voice* I'ma still a in the bathroooooohhhhh MAMA MIA!!! That damn milk expired years ago!
Narrator: Oh well I guess Mario forfeits the match....
Mario: *high pitched Mario voice* Ooooooh here we go... *FARRRT!* again!
Winner: Elle

End Of Round 3
Winner: Cherubae

Announcer: And now for something special! It's time for 2 on 2 battles! Teams will be randomly picked. Once you've teamed up with someone, that person shall be your team mate for every battle. Let the stupidity begin!

2 ON 2 FIGHT!

El Bobo & Kirby Vs. Zero & Kaede
Zero: Oh goodie, Zero the guy that gets mistaken for a girl teams up with a guy that has a girlie name.
Kaede: So sue me I, couldn't think of a name.
El Bobo: *shivers* Why the hell do I get teamed up with something so evil!
Kirby: &^%$#@!
Narrator: Kirby got pissed and eats El Bobo. El Bobo didn't taste too good. Kirby pukes El Bobo at Zero and Kaede. Zero and Kaede's gonna need a nice long 20 hour bath after this.
Winners: Kirby and Slimy, smelly, gross, El Bobo.

Zedpower & Beam Cauldron Vs. Dais & Conspiracy
Zedpower: We are a creatures that lives in darkness!
Beam Cauldron: We are a creature with lots of eyes!
Beam Cauldron & Zedpower: We combine to become *dramatic pause* Super Silly Stupendous Spud! *echoes* Spud spud spud...
Narrator: Yes, it's the Super Silly Stupendous Spud. A 20ft potato with lots of hair and 3ft long fangs!
Dais: I'll get potato peeler.
Conspiracy: Let's deep fry that sucker!
Narrator: Dais and Conspiracy painfully peels the powerful potato.
Super Silly Stupendous Spud: Ahhh the pain! Ahhh the horror! Ahhh I'm nekkid!
Winners: Dais and Conspiracy

Will & Freedan Vs. Jhiend & Zombie
Will: Check it out! I have a split personality!
Freedan: I don't like splitting up like this...
Zombie: .... *head falls off*
Jhiend: I'm gonna kill the guy who wrote this!
Narrator: Jhiend picks up the zombie's head and tossed it at Freedan. Zombie clamed it's jaws on Freedans ass. Freedan runs around screaming bloody murder. Will used the flute to bat the zombie's head but hit Freedan instead. It's a high flying Freedan into the left field, and it's going, going, going, *BOOM* gone!
Winners: Jhiend and what's left of the zombie

Cyrus & Terranigma Freak Vs.Random Monkey & Link
Link: Not a word out of you Navi!
Navi: But I didn't shi-*WHACK!*
Link: I said not a word, dammit!
Cyrus: HAHAHA! Just how hard were the bosses in Zelda 64?
Terranigma Freak: HAHAHAHA! My grandma beat Ganon without taking a hit.
Narrator: I had a harder time with the bosses in Kirby's Dreamland than those wimps in Zelda 64. Poor Link was pulverized, but wait aren't we forgetting someone?
Random Monkey: OOOOKKK OOOOKKK AAAAHH AAAAAHHH EEEKKK!
Winners: Random Monkey and what's left of Link

Lady Fyda & Sigurd Vs. Elle & Bloody Mary
Bloody Mary: Is it done yet! I look silly in this dress!
Elle: Hold still! Just a little more!
Sigurd: Looks like this is going to take some team work.
Lady Fyda: Right!
Sigurd: NO WAIT! THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!*BASH* AHHHH *BASH* AHHHH!
Narrator: Now this is what I call team work folks! Lady Fyda picked up Sigurd to use as a club.
Winners: Lady Fyda and Sigurd

Dais & Conspiracy Vs. Keinz & Yomi
Yomi: Uh-oh...
Keinz: You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses now, would ya?
Dais: Of course we won't.
Conspiracy: Yeah, why punch when you can flame someone.
Narrator: Yomi tries to jump back into his box but some replaced it with a bear trap... ouch! As for for Keinz he *POW* ... well that's the end of that.
Winners: Dais and Conspiracy

Tonnica Sister No.1 & Royd Vs. Original Soul Blazer and Shadow
Shadow: I'm melting meeeelllltttttiiiiinnnnngggggg!
Original Soul Blazer: Clean up on aisle 7!
Royd: *winks*
Tonnica Sister No.1: .......
Narrator: Tonnica Sister No.1 and Royd was too busy chasing each other round.
Winners: Original Soul Blazer and Shadow in a bucket

Wertigon & Luke Skywalker's stunt double Vs. Cojiro & Dark Twins
Wertigon: Hey wait a minute... isn't that 2 against 3?
Luke Skywalkers stunt double: You're right! Dark Twins are 2 birds plus Cojiro and that's 3 birds! That's not fair! We out number them big time!
Cojiro: Oh yeah we'll show yo- NO NO NOT ON MY HEAD!
Dark Twins: FAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT!!!!!
Narrator: ... If they want to win they must use team work!
Wertigon and Luke Skywalker's stunt double

End Of 2 On 2
Winners: Dais & Conspiracy

Announcer: And so the tournament ended... and now comes the endings. Sit back cause it's gonna be long.

ENDINGS

The Soul Blazers
Original Soul Blazer: I have returned to you... who ever you are... crap I just lost my memories again!

Will: Don't worry Kara I'll find you agai- hey check out that girl!

Ark: Ugh! I'm dead!

Shadow: *melts in your toilet not in your hands*

Man: Hey you! You didn't pay yet!
Freedan: I'm FREEdan, so everything's free for me.
Man: Police!

Light Gaia: They're after me!!! Save me!!! Oh crap here they come!!!
Terranigma Fans: GET HIM!!! He killed Ark!

Dark Gaia: Ah I've been imprisoned again!!! Oh well it's not so bad. At least they have cable now.

Elle: *knock knock* I'm coming. Who could it be at this late at night? *opens door*
Kids: Trick Or Treat!!!
Elle: !@#$% *WHACK!*
Kids: WAAHHH MOMMY!!!!

Royd: Did I lose her?
Tonnica Sister No.1: Ooooh Royd! Looking for me?
Royd: Oh crap! *runs*

Meilin: WAIIIIILLLLL- ugh ugh
Meihou: Lord Kumari, I think it's working, but I need a sharper knife!
Kumari: Right! Removing her vocal cords was a good idea!
Meihou: Hmm you know we could just kill her. That'll shut her up too!
Kumari: Well why didn't you say so? *stabs Meilin*

Perle: *skateboards but trips and fell on a bed o nails*
Dais: *tries to look innocent*

Zombie: Braiiinnnns *head pops into gooey little pieces*

Bloody Mary: Oh I'm in hell! My children are here too!
Bloody Mary's kids: Look at this pretty ring the we found! Here it's for you.
Bloody Mary: Oh how pretty it's an Ele Rin-*ZAP*

Dark Twins: FART! *flllluuuuusssssh* Ahhhhhhhh!

Keinz: I'm everywhere WAHAHAHA! Oh crap here comes the SWAT TEAM!

Yomi: Wheeeee time to go to sleep and wait for the next hero!
Godzilla: Hello I'm the next hero.
Yomi: Eek! *hides inside box*
Ark: *takes off Godzilla mask* gotcha!

Messageboard Gang

Announcer: We can't decide a winner so Cherubae reminds our Soul Blazer Heavy Weight...
Cherubae: HEAVY!?!?!?!?
Announcer: ... Oh no... *POW* AHHH! *BAM* YAAAAAA! *SNAP* OHHH THAT HURTS!

Dais: Ok I now here's the Perle Radar, Perle Hunting Gear, Anti-Perle Blaster, 1001 Ways to Kill Prele Book, and a really really really big gun.

Conspiracy: *charges into Angelfire's HQ with guns and shoots everything in sight*

Wertigon: WAHHHH I didn't win this time either!
Dude #1: Go find the guy who wrote this and kill him!
Dude: #2: Yeah, and kick his balls!
Wertigon: Right!

Terranigma Freak: All troops CHARGE.... NO WAIT AHHHHH! *all the soldier ran over him*

Kaede: A Samurai fights with honor, and I have lost... I am a disgrace... I can not live on... Maybe I'll fake a heart attack and use it as an excuse as to why I lost.

Cyrus: Soon... soon I will force Cher to make the subject boxes a million words long. I'll be able to *nt* again!

Tonnica Sister No.1: *See Royd's Ending*

Beam Cauldron: Follow me my fellow potatoes! With me as your leader no one will ever eat us potatoes again... Now where's bag on potato chip?

El Bobo: Today on the El Bobo cooking channel I'll show you the proper way to cook pants and babies.

Cojiro: Hmm I think I'll write a love story about... *Terranigma Freak breaks the wall open* ... On second thought maybe I'll just watch T.V.

Jhiend: Do Ray Mi Fa~ hack hack! cough cough!

Zedpower: Stupid weapon pic... oh man i-i-if I don't get something out by tomoorow the guys will kill me. *BOOM* Ahhhh Terranigma Freak! I-I-I'm almost done w-with your Fire Emblem gallery...

Soul Blazer Wannabe

Mario: Ahhh I'm finally done.... hey, the bathroom door's lock! Open up! *slams door* Helllllllp! *slams door some more* I'm trapped in the bathroom!!!!
Narrator: Too bad for Mario, everyone's already gone.
Mario: Let me out of here!!!! *slams door* Mama Mia!!!!!!

Zero: I'm sick of being Mega Man X's sidekick! Hmm maybe I can get a job in Transformers or Beast Wars!
Director: Ok cut! Zero, look Barney the dinosaur is lovable charater. So act lovable!
Zero: *sigh* I love you, you love... etc etc etc

Kirby: Ohhhh I don't feel so good... must of been someone I ate.
Doctor: As if I can narrow that down.

Sigurd: *knocks on door* Please let me in honey! *knocks on door* It's not what you think! I wasn't doing anything!

Random Monkey: OOOKKK OOOKK EEEKKK!
Announcer: You are now the offical Soul Blazer Combat mascot!
Random Monkey: OOOKK EEEEKKKK... call my agent.

Link: Hmmm I wonder what kind of mask this is? Oh well the happy mask shop guy says has awesome powers... *puts on mask* SSSSSSSSSSSmoking!!!!

Luke Skywalker's stunt double: *SMMMMAAAASSSSSSSH* AHHHHH!
Director: No no no, put more feeling into it. Let's try that again. Drop the 10 weight on him again annnd ACTION!
Luke Skywalker's stunt double: *SMMMMAAAAASSSSSSH* AHHHHHH!!!!!
Director: *sight* Cut! Let's do it again...

THE END


Mario: Please let me out of here!!!! Somebody open the bathroom doors! I'm locked inside the bathroom!
Luigi: Hehehehehehe.