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A fanfic by: The guy who wrote this fanfic
December 20th
Operation: Christmas Tree
Ark and Yomi were all dressed up to go outside: Scarves, mittains and hats. They had decided to go get a Christmas tree. They were ready to go, but couldn't agree on a destination. Yomi wanted to go get a tree at Safarium, while Ark, using his brain, said that only Eklemata had good Christmas trees.
"C'mon Yomi! Who efer heard of a Chriftmas palmtree!"
"Well, I want one anyway! We'll be the first ones on the block to own one too!"
"Oh fhut up you ufeleff piefe of goo! I don't efen know why I'm liftening to you! I have the boxf, I defide where we go!"
"Okay, but remove your scarf first… you talk like you have to teeth…"
So Ark removed his scarf, grabbed the Box and forced a pouting Yomi to go to Eklemata.
When they arrived there, they were surprised not to find wave after wave of bloodthirsty Yetis.
"Where did they all go?", asked Ark.
"Maybe it's that giant monster over there who ate them all".
Of course, the monster was coming straight for them.
"Uh-oh… Do you have abything we could bribr him with?", asked Ark.
"Nope", replied Yomi, who was sucking on a candy cane.
"Hey! I have a great idea!Gimme your cane!"
"NO! IT'S MINE!!!"
"Come on! Don't be such a hog! Gimme the cane Yomi!"
"NO!!! NONONONONONONONONONO!!!"
Ark tried to pull the cane put of Yomi's mouth.
"Gimme the cane dammit!"
"MINE!!! MY CANE!!!"
The monster was getting closer. They could smell the scent of cheat eggnog on his breath.
At that moment, Ark pulled very hard and Yomi let go at the same time, sending Ark falling down a cliff.
Ark was lying on a hospital bed, covered with bandages. Yomi was fluttering around him, saying sorry in different tones and voices. This had been going on for a while.
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!?"
"Um… sorry… Sorry! Sorry! Sorrysorrysorry!"
"NURSE!!!"
A nurse walks in.
"That thing again?"
"Yes! Put him in the box! QUICK!"
"Okay, okay… keep your flares on…"
The nurse puts a protesting Yomi in the Box. Another nursed popped her head through the door and announced that he had visitors. Then she went away, followed by the other nurse. Perel entered with Royd and Fyda.
"Wassup G? Me and the gang went and cut ya a Christmas Tree!" rapped Perel.
"You did? Thanks!"
"Here, use a L. Bulb. It'll make you heal faster," Fyda said as she handed Ark an L.Bulb.
Ark ate the bulb, and it haf the same effect on him as spinach on Popeye. He jumped out
of the beed and yelled: "LET'S GO DECORATE THE HELL OUTTA THAT TREE!!!"
And so they decorated the tree… it was not a pretty sight… Meilin's incessant crying got on everyone's nerves, Ark and Yomi were arguing about why the star has to go on top of the tree, Elle was slapping Royd because he tried to put a move on her and the Elder was rambling on and on about how Christmas was in his days. Fyda finally decided to take matters in her own hands and shouted, "WOULD EVERYONE JUST SHUT THE HELL UP?"
Everyone stood quiet, looking at her with big round eyes.After a moment of silence, Yomi shouted: "SCREW YOU!"
And they all began shouting and slappibg and crying again!
But Fyda wasn'r done yet "BE NICE TO EACH OTHER OR I'M MAKING YOU WATCH THE POKEMON MOVIE!!!", she said, while brandishing the dreaded tape.
There was a pause. Then it was the apocalypse!
"NOOOOOOOOO!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! WE'LL BE NICE!!! WE'RE SORRY!!!!"
"That's more like it," said Fyda, "Now, let's finish decorating that tree."
They proceeded to decorating the tree in harmony. When they were all finished, they admired their work. The tree was beautifully set up. Then they heard a rolling sound. It was Perel arriving on his skateboard.
"Wassup all?"
He saw th tree at the last second. He smashed right into it and it fell down. Everyone stared at him angrily.
"Uh… sorry?"
The 23rd of December was spent redecorating the tree. Then it was Christmas Eve. They spent all morning preparing the evening supper. And finally, it was supper time. They were all dressed up, even Yomi, who had a little bowtie, and they sat down at the table to eat.
"Yomi, why don't you say Grace?" asked Elle.
"Uh, okay," said Yomi, "Grace. Let's eat!"
Everyone began eating, except for Elle, who was a little confused.
"Y'know," said Yomi, " all this food in front of me, so nicely arranged, urges me to say only one thing… FOOD FIGHT!!!"
As soon as he said this, piles of mashed potatoes went flying across the table. Ark received one right on the nose. He grabbed a turkey leg and hurled it blindlessly. Meilin received it on the head and started crying. Royd got up on the table and dumped a bottle of wine on the Elder's head. The Elder pulled on the tablecloth and Royd fell head-first in the gravy.
Suddenly, Yomi shouted: "IT'S DESSERT TIME!!!"
"No! Not my pies!" yelled Elle.
But it was too late. Already the multiple flavored pies were thrown all over the place. Then, without a word, Elle got up and walked away.
"I also think we should go to bed," said Ark, with the remainings of a blueberry pie dripping down his face.
They all cleaned themselves and went to sleep.
"CHRISTMAS IS HERE! CHRISTMAS IS HERE!," said a VERY excited Yomi as he sped to the Christmas Tree. He suddenly stopped. "Hey, Santa is still here… AND HE'S STEALING OUR PRESENTS!!! THAT FAT BASTARD!!!"
Ark came running in. "That's not Santa! That's Beruga in a Sata suit!"
"Damn, foiled again… Oh well…"
"Why were you stealing our presents?" asked Ark.
"'Cause I never get any…" answered Beruga.
"Why didn't you just say so? You can celebrate Christmas with us!"
"Really?"
"Yeah!"
"I still think all this young whippersnapper deserves is a swift kick in the ass."
"Oh, shut up Elder!" said Yomi.
"You enormous fool! That's the kind of behavior that'll bring our world to an end!"
"Let's just open the presents!" suggested Meilin.
"ME FIRST! ME FIRST!", Yomi said.
So the gift exchange began. First, Yomi tried opening everything himself. But the others didn't let him.
"Okay, I'll give you your presents first…" said Yomi.
He gave evryone a copy of "Life as a Jell-o look-alike", his autobiography. This distracted them long enough for him to gather all the gifts and lock himself in the Box. He came out a few seconds later and said, "Here Elder, you can have your gifts back. I have no use for them."
"DIAPERS!" said the Elder, "Thanks!"
"Oh yeah, and…"
